what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
