dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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