There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she looked like the before picture.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Send help, water and tortillas.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
