you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
