I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
