Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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