I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
