Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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