I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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