I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
