East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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