You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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