I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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