Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
