Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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