Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
