got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
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