He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize