if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
