My room smells like vodka and shame
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
3pm strippers are depressing
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
