After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
