apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
