I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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