His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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