I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
