Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
