Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
