Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
