I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
