And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
