think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
