Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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