Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
