he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
