So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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