Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
