there's paper in my vomit.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize