she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
