that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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