Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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