why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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