and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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