Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
third nipple confirmed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
