Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
