we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
