Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
