We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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