She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
