I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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