can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
