I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
