Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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