Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
