oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
