Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
