And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
