Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
