Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
