yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
