you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
