have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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