Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize