East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
