Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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