The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I could fuck to npr.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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